Sing to the tune of, If You're Happy and You Know It!"

 

 

                                                    Arsenic, the Wonder Product

 

If you want to kill your rats, Arsenic!

Roaches, flies, and bats, Arsenic!

Cure Syphilis, Yaws, and breathing!

Its use in bullets keeps widows grieving!

So, if you want a wonder product, Arsenic!

 

Make your skin pale and dandy, Arsenic!

Kill your foes with almond candy, Arsenic!

Make stuffed doggies or leather!

Flavor water sources in rainy weather!

Wear a gas mask while your mining, Arsenic!

 

If you have rice water stools, Arsenic!

In a coma or convulse like fools, Arsenic!

Vertigo, heart failure!

Bigger killer than a bomb mailer!

Renal and hepatic failure, Arsenic!

 

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Oh!  My poor kids!  They had to write a jingle for a household product with the help of a parent when they were in middle school!  I just found what we came up with!  Imagine the teacher's face when my kids sang this jingle!

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