when I fall in love . I fall deeply and I get hurt so bad .
I felt they only wanted sex from me . they never cared who I really was .
shot down my dreams said mean things . some men even beat and raped me .
my three marries took me to the ground . I've been so angry since .
it took awhile before I lost it and went love crazy. I couldn't bare to leave but couldn't stay either so I tried to die . I have always been in a death do us part curse relationship. I first feel in love when I was 12 with a man that was twenty I stayed with him till I was 16 . then I met my drunk all the time first husband . stay with him till I was 24 . on my 25 birthday I met my second control abusive husband . I stayed seven years before escaping . then I thought I met the man of my dreams boy was I wrong . I divorced him at 37 still dated him for ten years after . if I could call it that I saw him once every four to six months .
I don't see being in love the same way I did has a child . take the risk , go all in , work things out broken heart was apart of it , die in the end .
now I see it has nothing much but a friend.
the question I get most of all is how can I go with out sex for so long .
sex to me is nothing but a mans need .
I also get the question do you ever feel lonely the answer is no . I have a better filling life with at a man . and best part it comes with out loves heart ache